Hi Friends,
It seems like it's been forever since I last blogged. I took some much needed time out to get my head together and to focus on “me.” Let me tell you, I needed this time. Having suffered the lost of one of my best friends, a few strained relationships and the end of a romantic relationship forced me to strip myself down to the core to self-reflect. During this time, I had the chance to start from scratch and build on a foundation of strength, clarity and forgiveness, rather than attempting to reconstruct myself from the ruins of the old me. I needed a “Love Cleanse.”
For those of you who follow the quotes I post on Facebook and Twitter, they are from Mastin Kipp, the founder of The Daily Love. Kipp has created a 30-day “Love Cleanse” designed to wash away the remnants of past relationships, cleanse your emotions and spirit of residual baggage, and help you gain a fresh perspective on life and love.
This “Love Cleanse” consists of:
1) No dating-Come on you can go 30 days.
2) No flirting (which obviously includes giving out the digits, initiating conversation with a boy you happen to find attractive, etc.) This one was hard for me!!!!
3) No kissing (or any other physical activity, for that matter)
4) No obsessing, ruminating, cyber stalking, and no mentally or physically engaging with anyone with whom you have a history of drama or are seeking to break free from. I made a clean break!
5) Increasing physical activity. Mastin’s recommendation is yoga. I haven’t made it yet but I did make contact for information with a local yoga instructor.
6) Living healthy –Think fresh veggies, lots of fruit, plenty of water…and it is also strongly recommended that you try organic, less processed foods. Also – make sure you get PLENTY of rest. I’m learning how to come home and do absolutely nothing; it’s refreshing.
7) Journal your experience, every morning and every night. It will give you an excellent point of reference at the end of your cleanse to go back and see how you grew and progressed and even healed throughout the process. This one was easy for me because I’m either writing or thinking about writing.
I recently celebrated my 40th birthday as a single woman. By this time, I thought I would be happily married with three children and a dog-LOL, but this is the life the Creator has given me and I am embracing it. I try to live each day like it's my last. I love my life and the things I have had the chance to experience. But I realize that it’s important to allow self-reflection time between relationships or loss of any kind. It’s even more important to realize that you can be attached and miserable or available and happy. The right one will come.
Forever, the new “me” is here to stay!
One Love,
Forty & Fabulous Robin
Reference
http://www.examiner.com/single-women-in-nashville/mandy-hale
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Let Freedom Reign
"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." Raymond Hull
Okay, so isn’t it a great feeling when you have an epiphany, a sudden, intuitive leap of understanding through a striking occurrence? I was seriously struggling about making a decision on an issue. On one hand, I had pretty much made up my mind to just walk away. On the other hand, I was allowing sentimental feelings to get in the way. Nostalgia can make the past look better than today. In midst of an occurrence, it came to me like an outer body experience that it was time to cut the ties…..completely.
Just as you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until you are true to yourself. In my last blog I speak about possessing a sense of freedom. I’ve never felt this before because it wasn’t time to. I needed to experience the highs and lows of life in order to appreciate this level of bliss. There are those who cannot handle this awakening and would prefer that I live in shame, fear, low self-esteem and denial. When people are not happy with their life, they cannot share in your happiness or freedom. When a person shows you their true color the first time, believe them! Trust me-it will spare you unnecessary heartache. Building lasting relationships requires genuine honesty about who we are, what we want and why we want it. It requires us to be authentic.
As we come to the close of another Memorial Day, I want to thank the soldiers who fight everyday for our freedom. It is important for us to remember the cost of American freedom. Just as men and women of the armed services put their lives on the line to protect the US and what it stands for, remember the price you’ve paid for your own personal freedom. The soldiers fight so that no one can take away the many rights and freedoms guaranteed by the basic foundational documents of our country. In that same spirit, don’t allow anyone to take away your freedom. You’ve paid way too much for it....enjoy it.
Let Freedom Reign,
Robin
Okay, so isn’t it a great feeling when you have an epiphany, a sudden, intuitive leap of understanding through a striking occurrence? I was seriously struggling about making a decision on an issue. On one hand, I had pretty much made up my mind to just walk away. On the other hand, I was allowing sentimental feelings to get in the way. Nostalgia can make the past look better than today. In midst of an occurrence, it came to me like an outer body experience that it was time to cut the ties…..completely.
Just as you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until you are true to yourself. In my last blog I speak about possessing a sense of freedom. I’ve never felt this before because it wasn’t time to. I needed to experience the highs and lows of life in order to appreciate this level of bliss. There are those who cannot handle this awakening and would prefer that I live in shame, fear, low self-esteem and denial. When people are not happy with their life, they cannot share in your happiness or freedom. When a person shows you their true color the first time, believe them! Trust me-it will spare you unnecessary heartache. Building lasting relationships requires genuine honesty about who we are, what we want and why we want it. It requires us to be authentic.
As we come to the close of another Memorial Day, I want to thank the soldiers who fight everyday for our freedom. It is important for us to remember the cost of American freedom. Just as men and women of the armed services put their lives on the line to protect the US and what it stands for, remember the price you’ve paid for your own personal freedom. The soldiers fight so that no one can take away the many rights and freedoms guaranteed by the basic foundational documents of our country. In that same spirit, don’t allow anyone to take away your freedom. You’ve paid way too much for it....enjoy it.
Let Freedom Reign,
Robin
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Big Chop
Hello All,
Over the past eight months I’ve been growing my hair out preparing to make the transition to the natural side. I knew that I wanted to be natural by 40 so I began my process August 2009. Most people know that I’m very obsessive about my hair. I’m the kind of girl who would leave the office for lunch and come back with a new hairdo. I’m just that serious about my hair so this natural process was a big thing for me. Well, I’m proud to say that Monday, April 19th was my Big Chop Day. Yes, I did it!!!!
There were a couple of times during this process when I started to return to the perm (hair crack), especially when friends and family could not understand why I would want to do such an awful thing. While there are many natural men and women in this world and the workplace, I was often advised that kinks and career don’t mix. Some of these comments were hurtful and disheartening. In my mind, I believed that my capabilities, work ethic and visionary spirit would transcend all of that. Consequently, I remained strong because I also had a support group of very professional and everyday natural women who shouted how liberating being natural felt. For eight months I wore kinky twists. When it came time to get my kinky twists again, I woke up one morning and decided that it was time for the BC. It was like my spirit was telling me to turn it loose……so I did.
I can’t explain how free I felt. When I saw my hair falling to the floor, it was like the remaining baggage and a myriad of emotions I was carrying went too. I felt cleansed and proud of my hair. I'm even more proud of myself and the courage it took to make such a bold move. I had my own hang-ups about hair and there were many times I let my hair drive my self-concept and self-esteem. This process may not be for everyone but this process is a pledge to be kinder to me. I love me and all that comes with me. My Father tells me that I’m beautiful and wonderfully made… The lesson here is that we much teach our children to love themselves beyond hair, clothes, and material things. We must engage in conversations about beauty and foster a positive self-concept and image. I'm as beautiful as I believe and think I am...it really does start from within.
I can't wait until the day I have a head full of wild hair. For now, I’ll rock the afro, twists, my natural curls…..whatever I feel like in the moment. As my sista India Arie put it, "I am not my hair."
One Love,
Robin
“NaturalSoul”
Over the past eight months I’ve been growing my hair out preparing to make the transition to the natural side. I knew that I wanted to be natural by 40 so I began my process August 2009. Most people know that I’m very obsessive about my hair. I’m the kind of girl who would leave the office for lunch and come back with a new hairdo. I’m just that serious about my hair so this natural process was a big thing for me. Well, I’m proud to say that Monday, April 19th was my Big Chop Day. Yes, I did it!!!!
There were a couple of times during this process when I started to return to the perm (hair crack), especially when friends and family could not understand why I would want to do such an awful thing. While there are many natural men and women in this world and the workplace, I was often advised that kinks and career don’t mix. Some of these comments were hurtful and disheartening. In my mind, I believed that my capabilities, work ethic and visionary spirit would transcend all of that. Consequently, I remained strong because I also had a support group of very professional and everyday natural women who shouted how liberating being natural felt. For eight months I wore kinky twists. When it came time to get my kinky twists again, I woke up one morning and decided that it was time for the BC. It was like my spirit was telling me to turn it loose……so I did.
I can’t explain how free I felt. When I saw my hair falling to the floor, it was like the remaining baggage and a myriad of emotions I was carrying went too. I felt cleansed and proud of my hair. I'm even more proud of myself and the courage it took to make such a bold move. I had my own hang-ups about hair and there were many times I let my hair drive my self-concept and self-esteem. This process may not be for everyone but this process is a pledge to be kinder to me. I love me and all that comes with me. My Father tells me that I’m beautiful and wonderfully made… The lesson here is that we much teach our children to love themselves beyond hair, clothes, and material things. We must engage in conversations about beauty and foster a positive self-concept and image. I'm as beautiful as I believe and think I am...it really does start from within.
I can't wait until the day I have a head full of wild hair. For now, I’ll rock the afro, twists, my natural curls…..whatever I feel like in the moment. As my sista India Arie put it, "I am not my hair."
One Love,
Robin
“NaturalSoul”
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Long Way
I'm in my morning devotion, and I just received a word that is directed at me. I have to share. I spent some time in Numbers because everything in life seems to have something to do with numbers (age, marriage, promotions, # of children, salary). I’m sure you get where I'm going with this, especially the ladies.
The book of Numbers presents the chastening wrath of God against his disobedient people. In the book of Numbers, two-million ex-slaves were on their way from Egypt to the Promised Land. The trip could have been made in about 11 days but it took them 38 years! They did things all wrong and what they should have done they didn’t. Because of their lack of faith, the Hebrews wandered miserably in the wilderness. God took them the LONG WAY so they could have some time to rethink some things.
Many of us are on a detour in our journey. Many of us have taken the long way in our careers, finances, and relationships. Now things don’t seem to be going as fast as we would like them to. There are times when we think our way is the best way and things should happen in our time. This morning I had an "aha" moment. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the next thirty-eight years of my life missing the point. We really should pay attention because God wants to teach us a few lessons.
One Love,
Robin
The book of Numbers presents the chastening wrath of God against his disobedient people. In the book of Numbers, two-million ex-slaves were on their way from Egypt to the Promised Land. The trip could have been made in about 11 days but it took them 38 years! They did things all wrong and what they should have done they didn’t. Because of their lack of faith, the Hebrews wandered miserably in the wilderness. God took them the LONG WAY so they could have some time to rethink some things.
Many of us are on a detour in our journey. Many of us have taken the long way in our careers, finances, and relationships. Now things don’t seem to be going as fast as we would like them to. There are times when we think our way is the best way and things should happen in our time. This morning I had an "aha" moment. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the next thirty-eight years of my life missing the point. We really should pay attention because God wants to teach us a few lessons.
One Love,
Robin
Friday, February 26, 2010
Test of Faith
My grandma always told me to pray without ceasing. Boy was she right! I can’t begin to explain the number of curve balls thrown at me this last month. Many of my issues I had created on my own due to poor planning and overspending. I thought I was being punished or like the devil was spending way too much time making my world difficult, but there was no one else to blame but the person staring back in the mirror. I almost began to whine and whimper about my dilemma, but I changed course and immediately went into prayer and fasting. Suddenly, I heard this voice in my head remind me that God uses suffering as a means to increase faith, patience and trust in Him. I realized that not all problems are of the devil. Dealing with trials tested my faith, obedience, and understanding of God's will for my life.
Whatever trials I face, I remember there is a purpose for my suffering. God worked my situation out for me in such a way that I knew it was of Him (trust me, man could not even come close to this kind of favor). The Greek word "without ceasing" means continuous action. Therefore, “praying without ceasing” means to pray continuously. Praying without ceasing is sometimes really difficult when it seems like God is not answering...It’s important to realize that God doesn’t always answer on the spot or the way we want, but He does answer as He sees fit.
Keep Praying, Believing, and Trusting!!
One Love,
Robin
Whatever trials I face, I remember there is a purpose for my suffering. God worked my situation out for me in such a way that I knew it was of Him (trust me, man could not even come close to this kind of favor). The Greek word "without ceasing" means continuous action. Therefore, “praying without ceasing” means to pray continuously. Praying without ceasing is sometimes really difficult when it seems like God is not answering...It’s important to realize that God doesn’t always answer on the spot or the way we want, but He does answer as He sees fit.
Keep Praying, Believing, and Trusting!!
One Love,
Robin
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Stay on Track
Hello All,
We are 23 days into 2010! We are truly blessed to be living this life. In the days prior to the New Year and now that the New Year is here, the devil has really been trying to distract me from the transformational process emerging in my life. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines distract as “to draw or direct (as one's attention) to a different object or in different directions at the same time.” It’s amazing how the devil uses jealousy, envy, greed and hatred in our relationships, family, friendships and careers to create disarray in our lives. These ruined relationships, family feuds, failed friendships, and chaotic careers are the devil’s catalyst that keeps us off track and takes our eyes off the Creator. I’m sure many of you, in just these 23 days of 2010, have experienced this same kind of tug-of-war with the devil. There are days when we are able to defeat him and other days when we allow him to distract us. Remember, this fallen prince’s job is to steal, kill and destroy. We must refuse to give the devil any kind of dominion over our lives...he is a liar!
It is so important to remember that no matter how much personal trials may distract us and we shift between the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, we must believe that God has a purpose and plan for us that will come to fruition. Moreover, in light of the recent Haiti Earthquake, each new day, each new breathe of air is a reminder of just how Blessed we are. Joel Osteen states that “When it seems like everything is against you oftentimes it's because God has something in store for you.” Growing pains will come and stretch us in different ways, but we must stop allowing the devil to use brewing anger, old wounds and limiting beliefs to distract us from God’s promises. God is God and he can and he is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or think. God desires us to have a well-balanced life, one that includes fellowship with Him and others.
As we continue to embark on the journey of 2010, it is important to realize that every day of our lives offers the opportunity for us to regroup and refocus. Remember, God’s mercies are new every morning. Let's allow God to see his reflection in us. A clear sense of purpose and direction can help us stay the course and stay on track.
One Love,
Robin
We are 23 days into 2010! We are truly blessed to be living this life. In the days prior to the New Year and now that the New Year is here, the devil has really been trying to distract me from the transformational process emerging in my life. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines distract as “to draw or direct (as one's attention) to a different object or in different directions at the same time.” It’s amazing how the devil uses jealousy, envy, greed and hatred in our relationships, family, friendships and careers to create disarray in our lives. These ruined relationships, family feuds, failed friendships, and chaotic careers are the devil’s catalyst that keeps us off track and takes our eyes off the Creator. I’m sure many of you, in just these 23 days of 2010, have experienced this same kind of tug-of-war with the devil. There are days when we are able to defeat him and other days when we allow him to distract us. Remember, this fallen prince’s job is to steal, kill and destroy. We must refuse to give the devil any kind of dominion over our lives...he is a liar!
It is so important to remember that no matter how much personal trials may distract us and we shift between the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, we must believe that God has a purpose and plan for us that will come to fruition. Moreover, in light of the recent Haiti Earthquake, each new day, each new breathe of air is a reminder of just how Blessed we are. Joel Osteen states that “When it seems like everything is against you oftentimes it's because God has something in store for you.” Growing pains will come and stretch us in different ways, but we must stop allowing the devil to use brewing anger, old wounds and limiting beliefs to distract us from God’s promises. God is God and he can and he is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or think. God desires us to have a well-balanced life, one that includes fellowship with Him and others.
As we continue to embark on the journey of 2010, it is important to realize that every day of our lives offers the opportunity for us to regroup and refocus. Remember, God’s mercies are new every morning. Let's allow God to see his reflection in us. A clear sense of purpose and direction can help us stay the course and stay on track.
One Love,
Robin
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